Dearest Texas high school teachers,
I just had the chance to go with a couple of collegaues and 16 students to the UIL Student Activities Conference at UT-Austin. It was incredibly rad(1) and we all learned a lot about the different academic and speech events.
This year as academic coordinator, I finally have coaches for every event(2) and we are prepared to send full teams to our district meet in the spring. I would like to invite you to join us in our quest for academic glory.
UIL competitions are, at their essence, college preparatory. The knowledge and skills required to excel in these events will absolutely help your kids become college-ready. Not to mention the fact that you get to win accolades(3) for your school and your kids will feel awesome for being so darn smart and will strut around like they own the place(4). Also, if your kids get to the state competition, they will have beaucoups of scholarship opportunities through TILF. Double also, IT IS SUPER FUN.
Dudes and ladies, the following are ACTION STEPS:
- Find your campus academic coordinator. If you do not have one, become one.
- Become a coach for one event.
- Find a few kids who will put in the extra time needed to practice and prepare for competitions.
- Go to invitational meets and get creamed by bigger, richer schools.
- Repeat above until you are competitive.
- Go to district and win!
- Repeat all steps every year with more events and more kids until the state of Texas decides public education is for communists and defunds the whole thing in favor of online Christian schools.
Comment if you have questions!
(1) Edujargon for “really cool”.
(2) Not to toot my own horn buuuuuut *HONK*.
(3) And medals and ribbons and trophies and plaques.
(4) This makes your kids sound arrogant, but it is an unmitigated GOOD THING in my opinion.